A Scarred Woman and A Hardened Man(Nikolai, Lyric)

[Deidra]

Lyric

It was just another black muggy night Lyric woke up to after her nightmare had once more returned. She lay inside one of the many small huts set aside for the Royal Guard members, this one just happened to be hers and hers alone. Within the confines of this hut she could be the woman she once was, dressing in rare light one layered dresses she wore only for bed. Lyric sat up on the cot like bed and found herself yet again wondering why she had thrown herself in among men, they terrified the young woman. She had seen how most of the men treated the women they brought back, only keeping them for a night then talking about it amongst themselves the next day. Their acts disgusted her, yet she stayed among them hoping that one day she’d lose her fear of them and her nightmares would cease to reappear night after night.

The platinum blonde haired woman sighed and pushed back the thin blanket she had and moved to sit at the edge of the bed and let her feet hang off the edge. She reached over to a small table where a coarse brush sat and her fingers curled around the handle as she picked it up. Running the hard bristles through her soft shoulder-blade length hair she pondered what she would do with the rest of her night as she surely could not sleep any longer. After much thought, Lyric finally decided to visit her stallion, Shetan. The horse had always had a way with comforting her and makes her forget her fears, if only for a little while. She could be a vulnerable woman around the horse, talk to him about her feelings, and the horse would just puff air at her and nuzzle her hair as if her weren’t a giant stallion but a small colt. She stood and walked over to the window, peering out at the night and to the stables beyond. Another sigh escaped her as she turned and walked to the door not bothering to change from the bale blue cotton dress she wore, it was night what man would see her how she was meant to be seen?

Lyric pulled open the door lightly and her bare feet touched the hard earthen ground and a smile formed on her face. It was a wondrous sight to see, her soft face erupting into a smile. It was such a rare sight that, it almost made the woman unrecognizable but she had no idea of this. Her face rose as a sliver of moonlight found its way through the clouds and bathed her in its soft silver light. Her hair shone white in the light, giving her the look of an angel until the light was hidden again by the dark clouds. At this she continued on, taking small light steps in the direction of the Royal stables and to where her horse was. It was only a matter of minutes that she had taken to cross to the stable yard and then open the heavy wooden door to make her way quietly inside. Horses heads raised up and some gave short snorts in greeting to their usual midnight visitor, but Lyric only had eyes for the shadowed figure at the end. The stallion gave out a short quiet whicker to her as she approached and her hand reached out to slide upon the soft hairs on his muzzle before she walked to the tack room to grab a brush, a halter, and some rope to tie the seventeen hand tall horse out in the isle. She then opened the door to the black, brown stallions stall and slid the halter on him as he walked out to her. Tying one rope to a ring on the side wall she attached it to the halter then repeated the same thing on the opposite side before finally settling in and brushing the giant stallion coat thoughtfully.

[Desperanza]

The night was in full swing. It was somewhere close to midway through the night and the soldiers slept soundly among their huts, all but one. The man was hidden out among the shadows of the trees, not far from the Gauntlet. The training station that had injured him a few days before. It infuriated him that he had done poorly. It wasn’t that he had done poorly, truly. It was that for one moment he had lost his focus. He had briefly become distracted and that was when the Gauntlet took its hold. Now, he was working out his fury. He was out beneath the trees performing pushup after pushup. He had been out there for about an hour already and his back and chest were layered with a light sheen of sweat and his breaths were heavy and even. His dark mahogany eyes held a piercing look as he stared at the ground or stared across the field. He saw nothing; he was gazing at nothing in particular. He was simply staring for his focus was on the pushups that he performed now without fail. He had been out here doing pushups nonstop to the point that his muscles quivered with the effort now. He was indeed nearly ready to finish his pushup effort. It was like an extra punishment for him. It was like the first punishment was not enough.

The tender, injured muscles were sore and they burned with the effort. The skin at his back, the right of his stomach, and his left thigh were all stitched together and had been kept clean. The last thing they wanted was for one of the most prized and rising guards to die from infection. Still, it burned and it hurt like hell as it healed. It was worse when he moved for it stretched and moved the muscles in the process of healing. He groaned as he stood from the ground, brushing his hands clean of dirt. Sighing, he winced and rolled his shoulders that were sore from the effort but the burn was welcome, he was improving. He glanced out towards the Gauntlet with a sharp gleam in his eyes. It was as if the training station was taunting him, teasing him for his failure. He hissed beneath his breath and his right hand lowered to his left hand, sliding the sword from its sheath as the blade sung and he sliced the air with a grunt, turning as his weapon began to spin and whip with slight flicks of his wrists as he turned and came to place his blade into the tree behind him.

His eyes were blazing and he sighed stiffly, hopping into the tree as he left his blade wedged into the bark. He began to swing himself as he held on with his fingers, swinging himself before flipping over the branch and for a few moments, he turned and flipped over the branch a few times as he continued to swing on the branch before finally his hands pulled free and he dropped to the ground with a grunt, straightening again as he turned and pulled his sword from the tree to return it to its sheath once more and he turned back to the field again as he jogged forward away from the trees.

With the moon out now, the dark, inky night sky painted above there was no heat to be spoken of other then the heat that radiated from his body and despite the fact that the sun was gone, he was sweating just a little bit from the effort that he put forth. His muscles rippled with every movement however. Working out nearly constantly when he wasn’t working was paying off and his body was immensely layered with pure and powerful muscle. Tonight, he wore no shirt and at the moment he didn’t wear the leather strap with the symbol of the guard, either. He was simply wearing the leather skirt design that the men wore when training and he wore his sword at his side. He didn’t even wear the brass guards at his shins and upper arms. He was bare everywhere save for his hips over his groin to the top of his thighs. His body was exposed and the cooler night air whisking against his skin chilled him slightly, cooling away the sweat that had at one point stained the tanned skin of his body. Twenty laps he made around the perimeter of the field and when he finished, he dropped into the grass to lay on his back.

Breathing deeply, he folded his hands behind his head and laid back, He came to gaze up at the stars as he waited to catch his breath. His dark eyes scanned the sky above that was studded softly with twinkling stars here and there. There was a lovely amount of stars that were sparkling there in the indigo sky but within moments, he had closed his eyes to the sight and simply leaned on his hearing instead. He could hear the screech of crickets close by the flutter of wings from a bird as it fluttered past above. The minutes began to drip by and he began to drift off into sleep after a few moments and yet, his eyes fluttered open again soon enough as there was quite suddenly another sound that reached his ears. He sat up, his eyes curious as he glanced among the field. He wasn’t far from the stables and he was just inside to catch a glimpse of someone slipping through into the shadows of the entrance. That didn’t look like any man that he had ever seen. His eyes became thoughtfully and he hopped lithely to his feet.

Turning, the man made his way towards the stables. He knew that he probably shouldn’t bother. He had no clue who it had been but something told him that it was someone other than Nordak or any of the other men. Slowly he approached the entrance to the barn, pausing briefly before he stepped forward into the stables. He heard snorts and small whickers from horses that didn’t happen to be resting. In the shadows of the barn, he reached out and stroked the nose of a bay mare as she lowered her head over her stall and he sighed, turning to face the aisle leading to the end of the barn and as he paused, approaching the end of the barn he spotted the person that had made their way into the barn and he paused, Lyric. It was Lyric and her large war horse. He arched an eyebrow, wondering what it was that had brought her out into the night to be with her stallion and briefly, he was caught up by the sight of the dress that clung lightly to her frame. It was a shock to see the woman in something other then trousers and he squinted for a brief moment for a better look before he straightened, folding his arms across his chest before he cleared his throat to represent his arrival at the barn from where he was watching her silently now.

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[Deidra]

Lyric stood beside Shetan one hand on his massive shoulder and the other ran the brush across the stallion’s thick neck. The blue dress hung loosely on her frame; a deep v for the neck plunged lower than anything the pale haired woman ever wore. It revealed the beginning of her scars but it was dark and she was alone with her horse, or so she thought. She was just beginning to talk to the horse when a loud sound caught her off guard and Shetan pawed the ground angrily. Lyric gasped quietly and rested a hand against the stallion as she squinted against the darkness trying to recognize the shadowed figure standing there. She knew it was a male that much was obvious with the height and size even in the darkness. Finally she took a hesitant step forward though inside her nerves were screaming for her to run.

Her piercing blue eyes tried to sift through the blackness that surrounded the man, hoping he would not turn out to be a threat for she had no weapon upon her to speak of. Shetan snorted and reared slightly behind her pulling at the ties that held him where he was. To say that the stallion was uneasy would be an understatement for he felt her fear and it fed to him. His giant hooves dug into the earth repeatedly as Lyric stood just a foot in front of him, frozen where she stood. Her face most definitely showed her shock and fear which she was always so good at hiding, but this type of encounter doesn’t normally happen, not in the middle of the night. She cursed inside her head and tried to rearrange her face but she knew it would have been too late, that the male would have seen her real face the face of a terrified woman instead of a hardened soldier.

[Desperanza]

Nikolai’s eyes searched the sight of the woman in the darkness mere feet from himself at this point. He cast a glance to the war horse and rolled his eyes. The beasts were unpredictable, it was true. He turned his gaze away again and sighed, folding his arms across his chest. Perhaps this was why he didn’t have a horse. What did he need one for? He had a set of legs that worked just fine for himself, he didn’t need a beast to carry him anywhere except into battle and he didn’t even have a horse for that, he marched just like nearly all the others save for a few. The fact that this woman had one was no surprise to him. Women were so high maintenance. March into battle? Yeah right. Sighing, he was losing interest and opened his mouth to apologize vaguely and to leave the stable again but as she drifted a bit closer, in turn trying to distinguish his own features he paused, scanning her quite suddenly frightened features, something that he had never seen before. He was surprised to catch the sight of Lyric’s features, turning wide eyes to him and a frightened face. His gaze however remained piercing, irritated fire still flooding his veins though not necessarily for her. His eyes traveled downward along her lengthy neck and down along the folds of her dress where it dropped downward into its crashing v-neck pattern, his eyes squinting briefly before pulling away again as the breath escaped his lungs in a sigh as he took a step back.

He held his silence for some time, ignoring Shetan at this point. As long as they skirted each other and that stallion remained across the barn things would be fine. He didn’t want to have to take his blade to a horse because it was attacking him but as long as the equines minded their manners, he would have no problem with any horse, even though he did not have one of his own. About the only time that he had ever ridden a horse happened to be those times that he went out and practiced horseback fighting among the guards. Those times when they were jousting or sword fighting on horseback. It was challenging and though he did not own a horse, it came simple to him for it was the sword play that mattered and making sure you didn’t fall where you could be trampled. As he eyed the woman with her large black stud at her back, he frowned, “What are you doing out in the night, Lyric?” he inquired crisply with an incline of his head as he gazed towards the woman, “And quit giving me a look of a deer in the path of a blade, this is ridiculous. It is I, Nikolai.” He stated with a curt nod to the woman in reply as he stood, gazing towards her still as he fell silent this time.

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[Deidra]

At the sound of his voice she quickly straightened and cleared her throat, her eyes traveled down and it was as I she was just realizing what she was wearing. A flush of color rose on her pale cheeks before she walked over to a lantern and lit it up so that she could better see the man. Finally she turned back to look at him and replied “My stallion comforts me at times that I cannot sleep, which happens to be quite often.” Her voice came out steady and sure as she looked over his now visible figure. She had always adverted her eyes of the men’s bodies as they trained as she never wanted anything to come between her and her concentration, but now? Now was a different story as it was the middle of the night.

“Why are you outside in this hot weather Nikolai, the moisture and the heat can cause an infection to grow in your wounds.” She stated softly, her eyes showing no hint of the hard gaze she normally reserved for them men whom she trained with. This to her was just a friendly conversation and she was trying her best to ignore the fact that she was dressed unusually to this man. She took a rather hesitant step forwards before glancing back at Shetan, the stallion had finally grown calm in the presence of Nikolai and so Lyric turned her face back to him. In the light her scars on her chest shown pink against her pale white skin. They were only a section of the many scars that graced her torso a parting gift of sorts from the man who gave them to her before she killed him.

[Desperanza]

Nikolai’s eyes gazed upon the form of the woman across from him. They were not far apart in age in fact they and with a full feminine body, he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment before he glanced back to her again. His amber eyes traced the pink scars that laced her chest just about her breasts that were simply cloaked in the light blue dress. His brows knit together and he felt a vague stir of desire within himself, something he hadn’t felt in not too long but he certainly knew what it was and he pulled his gaze away, coming to meet her bright blue eyes once again, nodding curtly to her words as he glanced from the barn briefly before he turned his gaze back to Shetan. The stallion was impressive but the thought occurred to him, something he had seen from a strange soldier that had existed before he had joined the guard. A man that had shown up to perform in a jousting event one day and of whom rode a mare in heat into the combat against a smaller soldier whom had ridden a white stallion, on purpose. The smaller soldier had known that the man’s mare had been in heat and so of course the mare became distracted, tripping and beginning to fall as the smaller soldier came into contact with the man’s armor, knocking him to the ground and causing him to lose the event. When the man had recovered from the ground, he was furious and had taken his lengthy sword and severed the head of the mare where she stood. With his mare dead, and the small soldier triumphant, he then in turn proceeded to range a sword fight against the soldier, killing this man as well before he was stopped. His sword was taken and his hands held behind his back while he was beheaded. The event had rather quickly been ended soon after and Nikolai had not often attended the events after such a terrible outcome.

Now, as he stood there staring at the female across from him he sighed softly as he stared across at the pale blonde hair that fell against her shoulders, the pale skin, the slender body. He folded his arms against his chest once more and finally spoke, “I was out here working out.” He admitted honestly, glancing towards the entrance to the barn before he returned his gaze to Lyric once again with a small sigh. There remained a slight sheen of sweat across his body and the leather kilt that he wore was the only thing that he wore along with the belt that adorned his waist and the thin sandals that layered his feet. As he stood there, gazing across at the fellow woman, he nodded slightly to her words, “You seem rather skittish for a woman of the guard now. What keeps you from resting like the rest of the men?” he inquired curiously now as he watched her, finding it rather strange to see her this way when all other times she was dressed as a man and practicing just like the rest of them.

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[Deidra]

Lyric watched as he noticed her scars and then as his eyes slightly skimmed her body before he became slightly fidgety looking here and there, out to the doorway and then back. He seemed to be lost for a moment as his gaze came to rest behind her at her stallion and her head turned back once more to gaze fondly at her black beast of a war horse. When he finally came out of his reverie of sorts she again notice him look upon her features before he finally spoke. She nodded at his reply as the sheen on his skin quite told it all.

His next question though almost brought the hardened gaze back to her eyes but Lyric suppressed it. It had been far too long that she had held her secret from the men, but she was still quite unsure about Crixus’ brother. “I had a nightmare, not uncommon for those sorts of things now is it?” she questioned him before walking to pet the nose of a bay mare named Felicity not far from where she stood. The mare, had Lyric already had Shetan would have been a favorite choice for the woman to ride. Finally she turned her face back to look upon Nikolai and posed another question upon him. “I have sensed you do not quite like my presence among the men in the guard. You question why your brother even allowed me enter. Why is that Nikolai?” Her eyes remained soft and her voice steady as she looked upon the muscled man that stood before her.

[Desperanza]

Nikolai chuckled quietly. His dark amber eyes gazed upon Lyric with a rather amused look for a brief moment as he nodded slightly to her question and came to wander the length of the stable aisle for a few moments. He stroked the nose of a few horses before he finally came to turn back towards her with a sigh, shaking his head, “It is unnatural. Women do not fight with weapons, they care for themselves and for the men that they devote themselves to. They bear children and cook and can do all of those other tedious things that men cannot do. Finding a woman in the guard is so unappealing and ridiculous. While men march into battle risking their lives, you ride upon your big war horse with a bow and arrow in hand. One good cut and you could be knocked out of the running. Lucky that armor is provided for you. I just find it rather revolting for a woman to be within the guard. I am not saying that women cannot take care of themselves for I know that they can but in the guard is no place for a woman any day of the year. You don’t bathe at the lake with us for obvious reasons. You have your own cottage. You don’t do things that we do or the way that we do it. You are a woman. You should be in town enjoying life and figuring out how to do things that women do but here you are at the station of the guards.” He replied with a curt nod.

Shifting, the man turned and made his way down the aisle a bit as he glanced in at the horses before he turned to face Lyric once again, “Why are you here, anyways? Did you think that by coming here you would justify something that happened in your life? Did you think that you could bring your troubles here and make it all better by working among men? Is that what you thought? You thought that you with your breasts and your large beast could come and stand among men? Can you honestly look into the face of a fiery eyed Muration soldier with a twisted and razored blade at your throat and say that you came to do this because you wanted to? Why are you here?” he inquired. His tone was sharp and cutting, inquiring. He wasn’t doing it to make her angry; he wanted a true and honest answer. He wanted her to tell him why she was there without a sputtering or dancing around the truth. He wanted the true reply as to why this woman had come to the guard, the only woman that seemed to have wandered astray from what it was that women do. Why she stood here each day with her nightmares and her men’s pants and she walked among the man as if she was one of them and yet if even one of them managed to get close, to accidentally tear her shirt or pants in battle for she didn’t wear leather over her lower half, she wore cloth pants and a few shields against her shins. She wore clothes that were too large for her and one good swipe of a sword could have her exposed to the whole camp. She wasn’t very well respected much of anywhere around the camp except in the eyes of Crixus for a reason that Nikolai knew nothing of. He grit his teeth and turned away, waiting for her reply.

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[Deidra]

Lyric shifted as he spoke his words only that of what she expected. Men had yet to truly get that women could fight alongside them and she found her eye’s growing cold again. Her brows furrowed a bit causing her facial appearance to turn sour and she paced back to Shetan picking up the brush again before turning back to give Nikolai a hard look. She hated knowing that what he was saying was the view shared by many of the other men whom of which she trained with for she knew she could do just as much damage with her bow as they could with their shiny swords. Her body turned once again back to the stallion and she began brushing his body in rough strokes as Nikolai continued to talk and ask of her reasons for which she had joined the guard and what she expected to gain from being there. They were questions she had answered two years ago when she had come to Crixus and her mind flung her back to those few years and a small growl escaped her, barely audible at all but out it came.

“You wish to know my story hmmm? You think that your brother has not asked me those very same things when I asked to join the ranks among y’all? Well very well you shall hear my story Nikolai hough its not at all pretty.” She finally stopped her harsh strokes against Shetan’s glossy black coat and turned her hardened gaze back upon the male. She gave a short laugh before she spoke again “I was only just fifteen, when I first attempted to leave Murate, yes I am originally from Murate. But I was not alone for I was with a few other girls that were tired of the country. So one night we made our move naïve as we were we thought that it would be simple, just run across the wastelands and don’t look back. We didn’t give any thought that hey of course would have muratian soldiers watching for runaways, and all of us were caught. We were divided up amongst the top men and I was taken favor upon my a rough man named Tajj, he had a foul sense of humor that man did and was a sadist enjoying any ounce of pain I showed when he would rape me, and after each trounce he would take his dagger and carve fresh cuts into my chest and stomach, little intricate patterns. I learned to keep my mouth shut and after awhile he became rougher and would slice deeper into my skin. This all went on over a period of two years until one night he said to me in a harsh whisper “These marks little girl, these marks tell the men you’re mine and mine alone little missy” and he laughed in my face and left me lying there as he went into another section of his tent, his dagger still laying at my feet. That night I finally got up the courage to kill Tajj, I took the dagger and while his was turned I stabbed him in the back. He fell at my feet not knowing what hit him until it was too late. After that I stole his horse and dressed in his cloak fled to the shore of the Dirya Sea and snuck aboard a merchant ship. It brought me here and three years later I came to your brother. I told him my story and how I vowed my life to kill off all the filth of Murate.” She finished and her angry gaze fell back upon him waiting for his response now.

[Desperanza]

Nikolai’s eyes narrowed. He glanced towards the woman thoughtfully for a few long moments before he turned away, wandering along the barn aisle here and there before he turned to cast a glance towards her again, chuckling quietly at the hard looks that she gave him. He rolled his eyes at her and huffed, turning away as he glanced in at a few horses again before h came to lean within the entrance of the barn, his back coming to lean against the frame of the doorway before he turned his head back to her again as he listened to her speak. The silver slivers of moonlight bathed his tanned and muscled body and showed off the rippling muscles that lined his frame. It was one thing that he could mirror his brother with, his muscles for both had a wicked layer of muscles that were unmatched by many. Nikolai worked out nearly constantly and so his brother couldn’t escape him on that level. However now as he glanced towards Lyric once again, he nodded curtly to her in reply as she finished her story. He thought this over for a few moments and while he had to admit that her story was gruesome and unappealing, it still gave her no reason to join the guard. If everyone joined the guard because they were angry over bitter pasts, then the guard would be a wallowing pit of sympathy and not hardened soldiers. He chuckled quietly and sighed, shaking his head.

“You took your pity story, brought it to my brother, and expected that becoming a guard would give your story a name? You thought that this would justify the hate and anger that you felt for Tajj?” he inquired with an arched brow before he rolled his eyes and turned his gaze again with a shake of his head as he glanced out across the field once again with a sigh. He wasn’t in the best of moods. He felt that something terrible was about to erupt. Something that they could control and yet for some reason there still was no orders from the castle. He felt that itch at the back of his mind that something was awry, and they were all about to pay for it. His dark eyes narrowed and his arms became folded across his chest once again as he glanced out across the field thoughtfully. He had spent many hours fixing the gauntlet when he should have been severing heads from Murate soldiers. He sighed stiffly and turned his gaze back to Lyric again, not even having been thinking of her for a few moments but he nodded slightly to her in reply, “You are skilled with a bow,” he admitted finally with a faint smile, the first time he had ever showed anything like a smile towards the woman since he had met her and seen her join the guard, “You have skills but would you not rather be in the village enjoying life? Would you not rather be busy finding a husband and cooking and shopping in the market?” he inquired with an arched brow towards her at his question.

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[Deidra]

Lyric watched him with her piercing pale blue eyes, watched him pace and look at her then pace some more before finally coming to stop at the opening of the barn. She folded her arms lightly across her torso as she waited for him to reply now. Lyric was not one known for much patience but for once she waited, waited to see what this man had to think on this matter and when his questions came she had answers for she had asked herself some of them already. Why did she not do as other woman did well that was quite simply answered in her mind as was what she hoped to gain from the guard.

She shook her head to the man and let her hands fall lightly to her sides now before turning back to the mare she had petted earlier. “No the only thing my past has given me is courage and a means to not give up. As for me being like any other woman out there in Kiyer? No for sometime now I have given up on men, though if the right man where to come along someday I wouldn’t turn him down. I do not pity myself Nikolai but I have yet to find a man that will look past my scars and see them not as hideous markings but as just another part of me.” Lyric paused to turn around and look back upon Nikolai now before going on “Until I find such a man I will do my part and lend whatever service be needed of me by the Guard. And Nikolai, thanks for the slight compliment.” She added with just a tiny sliver of a smile finding its way upon her lips as her fingers touched the velvety muzzle of the mare once more.

[Desperanza]

Nikolai gazed upon Lyric for a few long moments before he sighed, glancing along the scars that he could see along the edge of her dress once more before he nodded curtly in return.”Ah but I did not ask about why you did not seek a man to marry, I asked why you did not feel the want to live like other women do and you did not answer that. Other women do not only live to seek husbands though many do. Have you ever thought of having children? Carrying on your lines? If you are seriously injured in battle, you may never be able to.” He stated simply to her with a curt nod, “It is true for the rest of us as well but we are not beautiful and our hands are rough, we do not bear children we simply provide for them and help to create them. Men are good use for war and battle and we strive for honor, not for revenge on broken memories.” He muttered with a sigh, nodding slightly to Lyric in return before he glanced across the field silently for a moment again but after a moment, his dark eyes returned to Lyric once again, “As for the scars as long as you believe that, then what does it matter? You will know when that man comes along. Scars are indeed just another part of you. As they are for anyone.” He stated simply with a curt nod.

The man fell silent for some time again, glancing between the woman and her war horse as again he attempted to picture her as a regular woman dressed in dresses and tending her home with a child on one hip. He frowned, he couldn’t do it. She still felt so defensive and harsh, “Your problem is that you are far too sharp, too defensive. You act like right off the bat the world is out to tear you down or make fun of you just because of your scars. You act like as soon as you open you will be hurt.” He muttered with a shake of his head. He sighed, turning his gaze along the barn aisle for a few moments before he looked back to her again with a slight nod, “Perhaps the reason is not because you have not met the right person, perhaps it is because you have not been open to finding the right man.” He replied with a slight shrug to her in reply as he glanced towards her thoughtfully before he sighed and glanced among the shadows of horses that showed within the dark interior of the barn at the moment.

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[Deidra]

Tiny heart
Stuck inside yourself
When will you open up for me
I love you so
I wanna meet you again
Before one of us must go

She smiled thoughtful now and leaned her body against the stall door once again her angry façade dropped. She brought her hands up to her hair and ran her fingers through her blonde tresses deep in thought. It was true she had thought of having a daughter or maybe even a son, it had been a far off dream of hers but when she joined the guard she had set that dream aside putting her role as a soldier before any dreams. Her eyes became distant as she peered at Nikolai his words coming to her but for a moment she was lost in her own thoughts images of a fair haired rosey cheeked girl running up to her and a sandy hair boy chasing after her. That’s what she envisioned when she thought of the children she hoped she would someday have. But for now she was just a woman soldier and Nikolai’s last words brought her back and she blushed just a bit, color coming to her pale cheeks.

Tiny heart
You're not by yourself
When will you recognize the beat
Of my own heart
Grieving in your hand
You crush me when you run that way

She took a moment to recollect her thoughts before attempting answer his questions. She had to admit the man was deep for a soldier and slowly she found that she might be able to respect Nikolai, whatever came out of that..time would be the only teller. “Every girl and woman alike has dreamed of having children at some point Nikolai, “ she began softly this time her eyes thoughtful still “I am no different though those dreams have been buried for quite some time. Yes I have dreamed of children.” A soft smile playing at the ends of her lips “It was my dream as a girl to find a prince charming of sorts get married and have two beautiful children,” she said admittedly, she had never told anyone this much about her but he had asked deep questions and she was trying her hardest to answer them the only way she could think of. “ such a naïve dream for now I know it is no prince that I want, but perhaps you’re right Nikolai perhaps it is myself that has kept my from finding the man that I seek. But it has been so long since I knew myself the real me that I’m no longer sure who it is I’m searching for.” She finished with soft sigh, she still looked every bit of the strong woman she was, just a little more vulnerable now as if some of her walls were finally being chipped away at and falling down.

Tiny heart
Stuck inside yourself
When will you open up

[Desperanza]

Nikolai offered a slight smile to the fellow woman as he nodded slowly in reply and sighed softly. He gathered himself a bit and stood straight from the entrance to the barn before he turned and made his way further along the aisle and closer to the woman instead. He cast a glance to Shetan for a brief moment before lowering his gaze again as he glanced back towards her again with a small nod as he fell silent for a few moments. Pondering what she had said, he finally cracked a slight smile again and offered a small sigh, satisfied with her reply, “Now there, now we have a proper answer out of you little lady. I was sure that somewhere within you there was some sort of a woman there.” He muttered with a grin as he drifted closer to her still before he had come to stand before her. His hands lifted, his fingers brushing along her cheeks before he left a hand at her cheek as his opposite hand tucked a strand of her pale blonde hair gently behind her ear with a slight grin, lowering his head for a moment as he pressed a kiss to her gently and briefly before lifting his head again as he lowered his hands a bit to rest at her shoulders, “Now I know that in there somewhere is a beautiful woman just itching to get out but how will you when you stay around here? What is keeping you here, Lyric?” he questioned softly to her this time.

His dark eyes delved into her and he sighed softly as he straightened a bit, holding her gaze now as his left hand brushed along her collar bone before drifting downwards. For a moment, his gaze broke from hers to glance over the scars at her chest and yet at this moment, he didn’t feel as if her aggression would return and his touch was very gentle and soft as his fingers drifted along the edge of the silken dress that hugged her feminine form. His fingers traced her chest, gently exploring the more toughened skin where the scars were at the edge of her breasts before he rested his hand still for a moment and met her gaze again, “It is beautiful, Lyric. You are beautiful. These scars are not scars at all, they are a part of you and you indeed are a very beautiful woman. However a man’s attitude does not seem to fit you.” He replied with a shake of his head. He straightened a bit again with a soft sigh and closed his eyes for a moment before glancing back to her again and when he opened his eyes once more, he smiled. There she was in all her glory. Stripped from the men’s clothes and the armor that typically adorned her body and she stood there with her pale blonde hair cascading across her shoulders and back, her bright blue eyes peering up at him and her slender feminine form cloaked in the silken dress that draped over her body and finally, he was beginning to see her as a woman and not as a man, a small and irritating man that Nikolai avoided but as a beautiful woman that was beginning to open up to him. He smiled slightly at her and lowered his hands again finally with a soft sigh. He fell silent now and took a slight step back before he paused, watching her silently once again instead.

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[Deidra]

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

Her features were some acceptance with his presence and her smile was light as she watch the man pull himself from where he leaned against the barn door and walk closer to her. Watching him curiously now waiting for his response and for a moment after it came she didn’t know wether to be offended or what…little lady? She almost couldn’t believe he had said that for a moment until he added the last part and she turned her face a little to hide a new blush. As she heard him walk closer she stiffened for about an eighth of a second before she realized he wasn’t meaning her any harm. Her face turned back towards him as he came to a stop in front of her lifting his hands to touch her cheeks, her face turning slightly at his touch and as he brushed her hair back she found her eyes drifting closed of their own accord and her breath stopped. In that moment she found his lips touching hers and the sensation the wen through her was something she hadn’t felt before for she had never been kissed so gently. Heat rose in her cheeks as he pulled away again and her eyes fluttered open to peer up at him her gentle blue eyes staring into his dark brown.

This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

She was speechless for she had no answer to his question at the moment, she did not know why she stayed only knowing that she had never thought of a good enough reason to leave and at the moment was finding herself happy she hadn’t. But the pale blonde woman soon found herself speechless for another reason as his hand started to explore her body yet she did not feel like just an object under the hands of Nikolai for his movements were not rough and his tough gentle. A light shiver ran through her as fingers went over her dress and then traced over her scars her eyes closing again briefly before peering back up at his as he began to talk once more and for once she did feel beautiful under the gaze of his eyes and the gentle red blush found its way to her face once again and she ducked her head for a moment somewhat surprised with her reaction to this man and yet not so at the very same time. When she looked back up at him she began to look at Nikolai differently, he was no longer just a soldier but a man slowly capturing her heart and this fact quite positively scared her shitless but that didn’t show on her face as he stepped away. She offered him a slight shy smile and stepped forwards closing the space between them once more her right hand lifting up to gently rest on his muscled chest but her eyes were looking up into his as she asked of him, “Now you say you say are not beautiful Nikolai,” her blush came back yet once again but this time she did not look away as she continued “but many a woman would beg to differ.” A slight gentle laugh came to her lips as she added “I being one of them, but might I ask of you why you joined the guard? And do you not wish of children yourself?” Lyrics face was now curious and open as she peered up at Nikolai with her slight rosy cheeks and her blue eyes seeming to shine in the light from the lantern.

Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you